SLEEPLESS IN… KOLKATA

SLEEPLESS IN… KOLKATA

If you expect a blog post with beautiful travel shots of clear blue skies, amazing landscapes, turquoise waters with white sandy beaches, luxurious hotels, talking about sophisticated acquaintances, stylish fashion, fancy drinks and crazy local foods… Then I have to disappoint you!

I’m here to rant, to expose naughty secrets, to disclose the perverted truth (some of you may try to ignore or hide), to make you think and realize and Maybe sometimes… To hear your opinions. 

And please: cut the crap and don’t bullshit me! Dare to follow my stories. And find out how much of you is in me, and in everyone of you!

It’s worse than you think – and don’t worry: it’s okay!

42 degrees all day long – now down to 31degrees at night. Do you know that feeling when your pillow is, again, too f hot so it’s uncomfortable to lie on? I’ll swap it with pillow number two (out of four).

Turning around, trying to squeeze it under my head…Now my head is too low… Back pain, damn it.
Tossing around onto the other side, maybe it’s cooler here? Let’s Punch again into that pillow. Okay, seems good…

Uuggh, now the neck is too stretched and my head is too far up. I think my chin touched my chest.

For fucks sake. Fine- flat then. No pillow.
Blanket… Or no blanket. Let’s see, cause the air condition is on and usually I get cold after a while. Wooooaaah what was THAT SOUND?! A monkey? A bird? A cat? Another temple song for one of the million gods the Hindus have?

I’ll cover myself half way so at least my belly is covered with the thin sheet – very sensitive spot.

Great, BF next to me is asleep before me-as usual. I’ll be enjoying his  snoring and occasional ‘I-stop-breathing-for-20-seconds-and-then-cough-and-grunt-loudly-to-scare-the-shit-out-of-my-gf’ sound!

Guys, I wish I could make you listen to my audio recording I have of that sound – you’ll be freaked out, too. However, after almost a year, I got used to it and nowadays, I can even hear it coming – I’m so awesome!

 

It’s summer here in India and for all of you who didn’t have the pleasure yet to travel to this very special place: summer means, daytime temperatures of up to 43-46 degrees (and as the weather forecast says ” feels like 49″) and nighttime it goes down to 29 degrees ( BUT “feels like 33”).

So the noisy ac and ceiling fans are basically running throughout the night, blowing cold wind. It’s a constant waking up cause it’s either too warm or too chilly or too windy OR you need to pee again… Which, ever since I’m here happens approx 2-3 times a night cause obviously I’m drinking probably 3 times more than what I’m used to  back home in Europe with normal European temperatures!

Lying on the side now with pillow number one and adjusted pillow number two. This position seems to be comfortable. For the next 7 minutes at least…

 

What I do when I have sleepless nights?

– starfish pose, legs and arms mostly land on my BF due to lack of space (even though it’s a king size bed!)

– epending on how my day went, I tend to have super deep thoughts on absolute nonsense, and ask myself the strangest questions: are vegetables or fruits which are grown underground less contaminated with pesticides because they are not sprayed on directly?

– my period and stomach feels weird this week am I PREGANT !? Oh no, probably just the Indian food…

My phone shows its 3:13.

BF just turned around in bed – Aaaand farted – great!!  Well, at least it was a “non-scented fart” how we describe those harmless ones – now he sniffed and grunted a few more times, moved limbs, scratched his forehead, breathing lightly, another fart –.–, now he squeezed the pillow between his legs, pulled part of MY half of the blanket in there as well *grrr* sniffles again and mumbles sth… GOD is he awake now or what? Doesn’t matter, I will continue writing on my iPhone, hoping it tires me so much that I can finally sleep in this heat.

 
It’s 3:38. Somehow Still not tired and unsure wether or not i wanna turn off the ac now. Shoulder is kinda cold but I know that it’ll get warm again 10 min after I turned it off. The struggle is real *sigh*

..What the hell! he just did his no-breathing-for-20-seconds-then-loudly-grunting again and I didn’t  see it coming this time pheew scared the shit out of me and dropped my phone, fell on my forehead.
I wish it would have knocked me out – at least I’ll be asleep then.
Now BF just cuddled up and radiates his heat onto me.

WHY IS HE SO HOT!?

You know, I DO wanna cuddle but it gets so Wet n sticky after a few minutes. Cause also, summer in Kolkata means the humidity during night is at 73% I mean: wtf!? Ever had that??
7 minutes in current position are over – right shoulder hurts, annoooooying. I turn onto my back then steeling pillow number three from BF and tuck it behind my back – mh not too bad. Seriously now – internet connection gone – again.

I Think it’s time to sleep now.. Trying my all time trick to fall asleep peacefully:

Five hundred seventy three sheeps, five hundred seventy two sheeps, five hundred seventy one shee, five hundreds seventy sh.., five hunred sigsty nine…five
Hunred sigsty eight.. Five hunred sigsty … Five hunred.. Five..

KamiNeko

15 Comments

  1. May 13, 2016 / 10:44 pm

    Oh dear, that is reallya hot and humid adventure in Kolkata! I know these temperatures from the time I was tranferred to work in Rio de Janeiro – my goodness, sticky skin no matter how much water you drink. So yes, drink 3 times more water than normal, you need to be hydrated there. And the harmless fart, I had to laugh! I hope you are well and that you can sleep in a better way!
    DenisesPlanet.com

  2. Lenya
    May 14, 2016 / 6:42 pm

    You’re right it’s much more worse than I expected the story to be. Although I thought it hilarious and I smiled all the way down to the last sheep ;) You are a brilliant writer, girl. Ever thought of doing short stories? Happy weekend, Stella.
    xox
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

  3. May 16, 2016 / 3:28 am

    Oh I am also always very hot, summer or winter. My GF laments it just as you do. Even when I rub her back she often has to stop me because my hands are like they are on fire. Very cool (wrong choice of words :D) story. I like seeing a little insight into you. When you referenced perverted I was hoping for something more fun to be going on in that bad, alone or otherwise, but too hot for that ;) Kisses

    All Things Bright and Lovely

  4. May 17, 2016 / 2:12 pm

    This is a funny + entertaining read, lady- but I’m like you, I cannot sleep if it’s too hot!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

  5. May 17, 2016 / 7:18 pm

    Hahah I know exactly how you feel because my parents are from Kolkata. BTW what are you doing there?? Let me know if you have further plans in India because I can catch up with you in Mumbai or Goa since I live in Pune which is pretty close to both! Will be nice to finally meet one of my blogger friends in person! Hit me up on instagram at @junebiswas if you’re gonna be going to Goa or Mumbai anytime soon
    xx
    http://www.junewantsitall.com

  6. May 20, 2016 / 3:21 pm

    Awww you should come to India during winter season (November – February). You will really enjoy it! Hope you had a great time here. :)

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